I'm sitting here drinking my 2nd, 3rd? cup of hot tea and reading my latest TMZ news on the computer trying to force myself out of sleep mode while my 4 year old is sitting at the table coloring in marker, real un-washable marker on a (now) marked-up wooden kitchen table, singing Lady Gaga while my boys watch Food Network and discuss the meaning of the middle finger. The kids ate cereal, I woke up late and none of my kids have brushed hair or matching clothing-since I allow the boys to dress themselves (with occasional power of Veto over too many clashing Neons) and, over this insanely extended Christmas break of day 42? (feels like it anyway) the amount of homework I've encouraged is none but the amount of Television and/or Wii playing has skyrocketed to a new high (they broke my timer anyway). As my husband was leaving for work he asked what we were having for dinner? Answer: Uh, I guess I'll think about that around 4!
I look on Facebook, and quit Facebook for a week, because I couldn't stand the competition! Every Mommy wants to be (or seem like) the perfect Mommy planning the perfect holiday excursions with their children and actually ENJOYING these zero degree snow days being stuck in the house with fighting children. I only rejoined FB after a few friends convinced me that I'd be missing out on the latest news aka who ran how far, who loves their kids more, whose kid just learned their 5th language, how blessed & successful everyone is but really I rejoined so I can stay in touch with the friends who give me clarity, advice, adult conversation & laughter. And the friends who really get it and get me. Also, while I'm being honest, I Pinterest for the artistic photographs, make-up tips and shoes, not really for the creative but healthy kid-friendly recipes or crafts-we eat hotdogs, frozen pizzas & McDonalds around here now.
Somewhere along the way, in my past, my panic attacks became an everyday occurrence, my irritation grew and I got tired of trying to be perfect. After many, many visits to doctors I was advised to STOP the madness and start focusing on me for a change. I was too exhausted to enjoy my life, I was simply living it the way I thought a Mom was supposed to live her life for her children. I'm seeing this pattern repeat itself in so many friends I care about. Just in case you haven't been told yet, it's o.k. to stop being perfect, to stop entertaining your children & planning every waking second of their lives to make their lives more enjoyable than your own, to stop with the constant laundry and the freaking juicing of veggies (what is this nasty trend?) to make your kids more healthy-personally I find a dino gummy vitamin works just as well. If you want this life, by all means, have a blast (and please avoid judging others who don't live up to your expectations) but it's not for me and that was the scariest thing I have ever had to admit. I suck as a "perfect" mom but I ROCK as an imperfect Mom and it's o.k.!
I enjoy my kids more (instead of trying to constantly entertain them-they're actually pretty entertaining on their own), I learn from them & with them, I listen more than I demand, I play games/toys when asked but never feel like I have to, I allow them freedoms I never allowed before, we listen to REAL songs on the radio (Hadley has never even heard a Little People's CD but she can sing almost every song from any Pop or Country radio station-and she'll kick me off the karaoke mic in a heartbeat if Taylor Swift pops up), we go on spur of the moment adventures wherever and whenever we feel like it, we plan very little (and I love that 2 of my kids have inherited my love of spontaneity and all 3 have inherited my sarcasm), I never know what time it is because I don't believe in wearing a watch and rarely do I care, we laugh more, we sing more & we dance always-much to the dismay of my oldest, who discourages public dancing, but laughs at us anyway. Life is more enjoyable being imperfect for the kids and for me...and if I get tired I turn on a movie for them (usually something of the Superhero variety) and I rest. And it's o.k.
"Life is too short to be anything but happy".