Big Dreams

When we're younger we are repeatedly asked the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?". It's such a fantastic thought believing you can do or be anything your heart desires. The commitment to "BE" something was huge and I changed my mind weekly. I always knew I wanted to be a Mommy from the time I started wishing on stars that my doll would come to life, but we're taught that we should strive for so much more. A Mom was always thought of as a side hobby, it didn't count to those whose opinions were important, so I tried to come up with something better. (please note- my mom was the ultimate SAHM & did not feel this way, but the ridiculous radical feminists of that time made me believe I had to be so much more-perhaps I came up with this idea through my feminist class where we bashed men and read about women who changed the world because they decided that being a homemaker was degrading-true story). I remember sitting in a class one time when a teacher told us we still had the chance to make all of our dreams come true, now was our chance to strive toward something, anything! I must admit I was one of those kids with my head in the clouds and no grasp on much reality at all, but I made a hasty decision and I had big plans for myself, BIG plans! I was going to be a supermodel, this would be my ultimate goal! (stop laughing) I went to the auditions, to numerous photo shoots with a somewhat creepy photographer who had connections with the people at Venus swimwear, a.k.a. skanky thong swimwear, and he thought it would be the ultimate modeling gig for me (I turned down the gig and never called him again). I signed a contract with an agency and worked as a Marlboro model for an entire Summer. Spending a Summer traveling to different bars wearing next-to-nothing Marlboro gear and being hit on by drunk frat boys was NOT the glitz and glamour I was hoping for. The hefty paycheck was nice, but perhaps I should have done a little more research into my "dream job" before I made such a crazy decision. (And yes, I realize I pretty much made the worst feminist ever by diving into modeling as my career path). I quickly scrapped the modeling idea after that Summer and went back to square one. Starting from square one when you're in your 3rd year of college and have changed your major 5 times because you were certain the Supermodel thing would pan out is BAD and highly unrecommended, but an excellent way to tick off and stress out your parents. Turns out God had bigger and better plans for me than Supermodel and for that I will be forever thankful! And so that dream of mine that, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" dream that I answered from when I was a little girl has been the most fulfilling dream (and job) of all.

So at the end of every school year I ask the kids that same question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and write their answer in their school scrapbook for that year. For the past 2 years Spencer has decided he is, without a doubt or hesitation, going to be a professional baseball player and, crazy as it sounds, I think I believe him. He practices in the backyard everyday (everyday that it's not raining or freezing, but still begs me to let him practice in the rain). He can hit, catch, slide, steal and we're currently working on his pitching. The kid amazes me at his dedication. At 7 years old he has a dream, a HUGE dream. Some would call it unrealistic, as unrealistic as me being a Supermodel, but for Spencer I think there is real possibility (just as every Mom does and should for her child). He LOVES the sport, he is passionate about it and never gives up regardless of frustration or embarrassment at a mistake. Spencer not only plays baseball, but he studies the sport, the players movements & learns anything and everything there is to know. Ask him the name, number and position of every Cardinal player, he will tell you. He even knows these things about players on other teams that most adults don't know. Spencer's coach is currently trying to decide where the boys on his team best fit in certain positions. My one request from the beginning has always been, not a catcher!! Although Molina is my favorite Cardinal I believe this to be the most dangerous position of all. So, of course, it comes as no surprise that this is the position that Spencer excels at (which is why I'm currently working with him on pitching). I'm the crazy mom standing at the fence yelling for Spencer to move away from the batter-even though he's wearing 30 lbs. of padding, so he won't get hit- coaches and umpires LOVE me! Spencer is by no means the best player on his team, but he works at it like he is. I realize his dreams may change between now and 10 years from now, but for right now I will do everything I can to encourage that spark he has. If you're going to have a dream you might as well Dream BIG and, just look at me, some dreams do come true!