Kid-Friendly

Last night we were out to dinner with some good friends of ours who also happen to have 3 kids. As parents of 3 kids we're not typically rattled by loud shrieking, boys wrestling under the table, crying children who don't want to eat and the throwing of plates and/or silverware-it's an every night affair. But last night, for the first time ever, the manager of a restaurant approached our table and told us he was "getting complaints from other customers" and asked if we could quiet our children, we're talking about 5 little boys and a toddler, so the answer is obviously No, but we said o.k. and smirked. I looked around the restaurant to see who the culprit was and saw a sneaky lady in the bar peeking her head over the seats and counting our kids out loud to her husband/boyfriend/annoying customer who complained to the manager. Our kids weren't misbehaving, they were just being kids and kids are naturally loud! I told my boys to quiet down, but as they talked to their friends they quickly became engrossed and excited in their conversation leading to...well, loudness. While I am quick to correct my children when they are out of hand, rude, misbehaving or harmful to others, I'm also lenient when my kids are just being kids and having fun. The restaurant was full of kids and even a sign on the door had an inviting "kids eat free on Wednesdays" sign. It was a kid-friendly restaurant! As some restaurants are beginning to ban children (which I totally understand in the fancy, pricey, date night type restaurants), some people need to learn tolerance for others with children in child-friendly establishments. What you have to endure for 20 minutes of your day, we SAHMs endure ALL DAY LONG! It's not a matter of discipline, it's not a matter of teaching children respect and manners, it's just the way kids are. My favorite example of teaching rude people to have a little tolerance occurred when we dared to dine out with a 3 year old and a newborn a few years ago, customers were actually asking to be moved away from our table (as they still often do now, especially since we have 3 kids). As everyone began to stare at my screaming child, who I was doing everything I could think of to quiet (baby Coen) down, I pulled out my boob (at the table) and nursed. Oh the horror! If you can't stand the crying baby, you better prepare yourself for what comes next. The baby was quiet, but the staring became angry glares. My husband is one of those people who allow the negative attention to get to him, he used to run out of the restaurants with whichever child was throwing a temper tantrum to avoid the stares but as time has gone on, he's learned to (sometimes) let it roll off his shoulders. Every time I hear a baby cry in a restaurant I feel extreme sympathy for those parents, I know, I've been there and I realize how overwhelmed they are while the unsympathetic people are complaining and daring them with their evil eye to stay. The ironic thing is while my children are hushed by the adults who are intolerant of children, I'm forced to deal with the adults who use profanity, smoke, display anger, violence and drunken foolishness in front of my children in public. No one asks them to watch their mouth, no one asks them to put their cigarette out or control themselves, adults are allowed to make complete fools of themselves in public (while I have to undo the damage they have caused by using their bad examples as lessons in inappropriate behavior)- although my children will someday learn and display appropriate restaurant behavior, there is little hope for the adults (usually the complaining adults) to learn considerate, respectful and sympathetic behavior of others with children. Perhaps our kids aren't the the only ones who have some growing up to do!